They said

They said.
Start new,
Get a clean slate.
Find forgiveness somewhere else
Especially when you get none.
Live without tip toeing
Around secrets
Around lies
Love is all about growing.
Not trying to stay alive.

be prepared for rain

And so I waited.
My life sank into the puddle
Full of rain
Gray clouds
Stormy sounds.
How much more time
When will it end
The rain stopped.
Above me
A rainbow in the distance
An umbrella nearby
Up above me.
Be prepared
for rain.

151/365 money

I've only been unemployed for about a month now... and I am screaming. I have no money, nothing is coming in and I still have so much bills to pay. It's like I want to be on vacation, but when everything and everyone around me is related to money - put me in my grave already because I'm already suffocating from the thought about it.

I wish there were easier ways to get more. Even more so - reasonable prices. I feel like everything I need or even want, is so expensive! Everytime I purchase something, I count the long hours I spent to get that money. Or even when a bill pops up, I reminisce over the fact that bills were just paid a couple weeks ago.

I can't stand money and currency. I literally just want to live a happy life and just not worry about expenses and blah blah blah.

I guess this is what I have to go through first in order to never complain about money ever again. I have to suffer. I h8 money and all the evil puzzle games it plays with my life.

150/365 fallen

I looked out at the cemetery.  So many flowers.  So many people.  So many graves.  Memorial Day is not only for those who fought for our country, but to loved ones who were once a physical touch away.  My family and I drove up the hill.  Two bouquet of flowers in our hand, encircled by many who have fell into a deep sleep.  Their souls have parted from the Earth and are now shared beyond the universe.

Can you believe the different stories each person at this cemetery could share?  What type of lives they have, what they were doing before there passing, and even so - who there loved ones are?  Could they see the impact they have placed on this earth?  There were so many graves.  So many people.  So many have fallen.

Happy Memorial Day to all who we love, for those who served our country, and to those who fought a good battle for a good life - whatever it may be, thank you.  Without you the universe you had created wouldn't be what it is today.

149/365 keeping my culture alive

As you know, my parents are immigrants from the Philippines.  Their first language isn't English, but Tagalog and Ilocano.  Tagalog is the main language of the Philippines.  Ilocano is the dialect of where my family came from in the Philippines.  The Philippines is made up of a lot of islands so many cities and communities have unique dialects.  I wish I learn how to speak Ilocano.  I wish I was one of the many generations to keep that dialect alive.

I never realized how privileged I am to be able to master a second language.  It definitely is a perk when your family's history is in a whole other country.  And I know many others, regardless if they are this ethnicity could master this language as well... it's just... I had the ability to master it because I am already a part of that community.

So with that, I think I'm going to start teaching myself how to speak Ilocano.  It'll be tough... especially since I'm so old now.  But I think it's important to keep a part of my culture alive.

148/365 point of connection

It's such a busy day. The streets are filled as usual: backed up traffic, people, persons, animals, voices, noises, etc. Everything around you is loud. You watch each step you take as you walk. You finally pull your head up to see your surroundings... and then there's a moment of when you lock eyes with another person. Completely aware and unaware at the same time. Completely in awe for seconds. The whole world around both of you has just fell apart.

When moments like that happen, do you ever wonder what they are going through? Who they are and why at that very moment - you both locked eyes? Your connection was completely one. Timing for the both of you could not be any more than perfect.

Before that point of connection, you both were doing your own thing. Getting from point A to point B with no idea that you would run into each other, even more so, lock eyes. For once the universe somehow told the both of you to look up, look out, and see each other.

Maybe the universe wanted you to see something. Realize something? Give you both hope maybe? Show you someoone that may be going through a similar situation as you... so the universe wanted to let you know you're not alone? Or maybe the universe thinks this may be the right person for you, so go up to them and start a conversation? What ever it may be, this connection was for you.

147/365 I live for your weather

The beginning is full of the sun. You walk around with curiousness. Ask me a couple questions and our conversations rolled off the tip of our tongues. We never really have a reason to share negative vibes because it is the beginning. We share a ton of smiles, laughs, and an amount full of light. The beginning is always the best weather.

The middle is full of light showers and thunderstorms. Some days are misleading. We would somehow end up with light showers, not completely understanding why we made it to this point. There are even some days that end in thunderstorms. It is already so built up that we never really knew how to control it. We let that storm go. And then we would repeat. Light showers and thunderstorms.

The end. Well, we didn't reach that part yet. We still go in the cycle of the beginning and middle. And I never want to change a single thing about your weather. I love your type of weather, no matter what you put me through. The universe is always for us. I live for your weather and I hope you live for mines too.