9/365 describe yourself

Describe the bean...

Today I decided to update my basic information on my facebook profile.  I answered and updated all that needed to be updated, and then I became stumped about one question - "Describe yourself".  First off, I know you would be like - Marianne, how would you not know how to describe yourself? - I literally had to look up the word, describe, only to make sure I was answering it correctly.

de-scribe
/de'skrib/
1 give an account in words of (someone or something), including all the relevant characters, qualities, or events.

So, you ask, how would I not know how to describe myself quickly?  Well it is because... I don't know what makes me different from everyone else.  Well, of course I could list an amount of qualities and characteristics of myself, but I'm not quite sure what makes me different.  There is a billion people on this earth and one of me.  But, I would like to say, I'm still trying to find myself.

If you look at it from a science perspective and understand the central dogma of biology, then yes we are all different at the cellular and molecular level.  But when it comes to actually describing myself, I am only aware of my ambiguities.  I am not aware when my personality challenges, what natural behaviors I do in my everyday life, and etc.  It is not something many think about, unless it is a quality of them doing something.  For example, I love to read books, make a blog, am a student and so on.  I do not atually dig deep.  I do not understand the essence of me.

For many that are close to me, they can describe me easily.  They are able to prepare a mental model of myself, based on the perspective of how I act, how we interact with each other and my characteristics and qualities based on my ambiguities.  Even hearing a lot of this - I cannot totally agree with them for some odd reason.  Of course, it is because like them, we are both missing the understanding of my essence.  What we are really left with is a caricature of myself.

I guess I will never really know how to perfectly describe myself and will continue to give many the description of my made up caricature.  Hopefully that will be enough for the person asking me.  But is it enough for me?  I will have to continue growing, understanding, and "low key" seeking, who I really am.

Love,
Mari J Leano