145/365 happy summer!

Wow, has it been a hot minute since I have posted on this blog... well, I'm glad I'm back.

Despite my hiatus on this blog, I have definitely been on all levels of stress these past four months.  But!  It is finally over, thankfully.  I officially finished my undergraduate year and achieved the highest goal I only dreamed of - my bachelor's degree. And it's not only a bachelor's degree, it is actually a B.S. Biology w/ concentration in Biotechnology.  With addition to achieving two minors of Chemistry and Math.  I know, I can't believe I did that either.  So, to pick up with this blog once again - I have decided to write out memories from my last four years of undergraduate school.  Let's start with my freshman year.

It was mid august 2013 and I was wearing a black oversized crop, blue shorts, and purple nike roshe's that my girlfriend had gifted me for a montheversary present.  I just remember completely sobbing.  I had created an ocean at the airport because I just about finished saying good bye to my friends who are near and dear to my heart.  Most especially, I had to say good bye to my girlfriend.  As my friends huddled around us, making sure my father wouldn't see, me and Mel shared our last hug and kiss.  I headed over to the security check where I would meet my parents.

I remember when I got to the security line my father said, "That's what you get for leaving... you can always change your mind."  But I knew this is what I wanted.  I got on that plane and headed to Missouri.

My whole entire freshman year at college can be summed up into one word: closet.  This word would sufficiently describe my freshman year at college because I was literally a turtle my whole entire year.  Until my second semester, I only decided to tell my roommate then, that I was gay.  How did I survive?  I just kept Mel to myself.  I never face timed her as much, and if I did - I would be in one of the study rooms in the library.  My roommate would never be in the dorms on the weekends, so that's when I would face time Mel 24/7.

I studied like no tomorrow.  I did other activities, but it wasn't a whole lot.  My grades were straighter than me!  I never really partied as much because 1) it was never really a scene I was interested in and 2) I studied on the weekends.

The only time I really hung out with people was when I was with Kirstin and Liz.  That would be the only time I would actually make time to spend with people.  Me and my roommate would also hang out here and there - we would go to Target every evening, Sonic late at night, watch movies etc.  But these were the only people I really got to know my freshman year.

Me and my roommate, ended up creating HAPA, a club that I would have never knew - would be near and dear to my heart.  It was only in the process of becoming a club, so I didn't think much of it. At the end of the year, I decided to come out to my work study buddies, who soon became great friends.  After this encounter, I decided to be the open book I know I am.

When my freshman year came to an end:  I accomplished great grades, was more open about my life, and finally added some friends that requested to be my friend on social media since August.  I was accepted to be an RA my sophomore year of college and I was really excited!

My freshman year was my closet year.  I wouldn't want it any other way, because this was the year I truly learned a lot about myself.

Love,

Mari J Leano